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Have You Registered To Vote? Until next time, be well!Erin
Expecting Executive
Helping You Manage Life's Details

What Breastfeeding Ban?!?! Defending Facebook

Facebook Sucks is a theme, complete with web badge, that I have seen just about everywhere I have turned in my favorite corners of the blogosphere and world wide web. 

Facebook Sucks!?!?!?  What?  Huh?  Are you sure? What are you talking about?

“I don’t get it.”  (Erin shakes her head and wonders aloud)  “I just don’t get it.”  But then again, I am not one to often find myself getting involved with things that simply feel like they are too dramatic for my middle of the road comfort level.  So, I thought I might take a look and see what the deal is.  And, here is what I have learned. 

However, before I begin, I would like to state the following:

I am a mother.  I breastfed my son, albeit not easily and not for the length of time that I would have preferred.  I have participated in the breastfeeding discussion.  I talked about it at MomSquawk and I am a huge fan of Alex Elliot’s Formula Fed and Flexible Parenting and her blog posts on breastfeeding.  I have talked about breastfeeding in my own blog here and here. 

For the record – I AM PRO BREASTFEEDING…underline, underline, underline, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point.   You are welcome to disagree with my take on this whole Facebook sucks campaign but if you try to infer that I am against breastfeeding…I will delete your comment, remove you from my RSS feeder and most likely not return to your blog.  I am PRO BREAST FEEDING and that is that.

Whew!  So, that being said, I truly don’t understand the anger at Facebook about their enforcement of the Facebook terms of use regarding uploading and publishing photos on their social networking site.  From what I can tell, this whole bru-ha-ha began with a lady named Karen Speed who lives in Canada and is a self-proclaimed lactivist.  It seems that Karen had a profile and a breastfeeding support group set up on Facebook.  It also seems that Facebook found some of the photos that Karen uploaded and posted violated the Facebook terms of use policy and here is the excerpt of the e-mail Karen received from Facebook regarding her account:

“After reviewing your situation, we have determined you violated our Terms of Use,” a Facebook employee wrote in an Aug. 27 e-mail that Speed provided to the newspaper. “Please note, nudity, drug use, or other obscene content is not allowed on the website,” the employee wrote, adding: “We will not be able to reactivate your account for any reason.”

According to Ms. Speed, this is the offending photo.  It seems that Meredith Chin, a spokeswoman for Facebook, was quoted in the Sydney Morning Herald defending Facebook’s position by stating:

Facebook spokeswoman Meredith Chin said Facebook – which has more than 200,000 Australian members and 31 million users worldwide – did not prevent mothers from uploading photos of themselves breastfeeding their babies, but it did remove content that was reported as violating Facebook’s terms of use.  “Photos containing an exposed breast do violate our Terms and are removed,” she said.

I have looked at the “offending photo” and Facebook’s reaction to her public statements leads me to believe that these are not the photos that got Karen kicked off of Facebook.  Because Facebook respects the privacy of their users, Facebook is following their own privacy policy by not releasing the photos they found violated their terms of use policy.  It seems to me that Facebook hasn’t done anything offensive or worthy of this anger-based “Facebook Sucks” campaign.

As of today, there are more than 26,000 active Facebook members involved in the the “Hey, Facebook, breastfeeding is not obscene! Group“.  As of today, there are more than 200 breastfeeding related groups on Facebook, complete with breastfeeding pictures.  So, again, I don’t get this Facebook Sucks and Facebook hates breastfeeding media campaign that has taken over so much of the virtual world I enjoy.

If you are not familiar with Facebook, here is some background.  Facebook is a very popular social networking site that began in February, 2004 as a means for college students to keep in touch.  In fact, the site started off as an EXCLUSIVE social networking site that was limited to Harvard college students.  Eventually they accepted membership from other Boston area university students and then offered membership to all ivy league school students.  Due to pressure from students at other universities, Facebook offered membership to students from most universities and colleges internationally (they were able to verify eligibility by a student’s university e-mail address).  It has only been since September, 2006 that Facebook opened membership to all “age eligible” users.  Facebook started as a way for college (and high school) students to keep an on-line “living” yearbook.  Facebook now has more than 34 million active members internationally.
So, back to my point, my point is I have been to Facebook today and I see breastfeeding pictures.  Not pictures showing exposed nipples but certainly pictures of babies nursing from a breast.  And, today I received an invitation today for the recently formed League of Maternal Justice’s Great Virtual Breast Fest where a great idea (and post) contains the misleading phrase “the banning of breastfeeding pictures on Facebook” when clearly that is not Facebook’s position.

So, I still don’t get it.  I am unsure why I am being encouraged to be upset, even angered, by Facebook and their enforcement of their policies.  Facebook allows pictures of breastfeeding.  Facebook does not allow pictures of nipples.  Facebook made a decision that one of their user’s, a lactivist named Karen, had crossed the line with one (or more) of her breastfeeding pictures that she posted on their social network site and she got kicked out of the club for breaking their rules.  Why should I be angry about that?

Sounds to me like Karen needs should join another site like Cre8Buzz or CafeMom where she might find a bit more flexibility with her photos uploads.  But I hate to tell you sweetheart, Facebook has 34 million happy members and I don’t see (or expect) them to change their obscenity policy because they have pissed off 100,000 or so lactivists internationally.  From a business perspective, the numbers don’t support a change.  From a policy standpoint, I applaud them for enforcing their nudity rules.

I believe in realistic expectations and careful, very careful, consideration of language that is used to stir up, incite, incense or rile up a group of people to inspire them to gather together and make a collective difference. 

For me and my efforts, money and mental energy, you can find me supporting MomsRising.org in their fight to make a difference in the lives of families and children with their Children’s Healthcare and Childcare initiatives.  You can also find me at Katherine Stone’s supporting her Post Partum Progress Blog in an effort to raise awareness and support for the women who suffer from and families affected by Post Partum Depression. 

And, until there is a cure for Breast Cancer, don’t you think that October is a great month to promote and support the efforts of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Pink-Link, Susan G Komen Foundation, National Breast Cancer Foundation and the AMAZING husbands and fathers over at Men Against Breast Cancer?

Until next time, be well!

Erin

Expecting Executive

Helping You Manage Life’s Details
 

Because I’m the Mom…

When you just do not have any more patience or energy…just plop those little (or big) terrors in front of the computer screen and play this a few times (or twenty) for them!

Click here to watch video!

I love this. I love this. I love this!  Updated: This is Anita Renfroe and she has more on her website!.  And, thank you to Debbie at It’s All Good…Gossip Blog for the info on Anita! (The person who sent it to me did not know who the performer was).  This is a mom I want to hug and invite to live at our house!

Enjoy & be well!

Erin
www.ExpectingExecutive.com
Helping You Manage Life’s Details

Thinking About Going Back To College?

Going back to college.  Is it a question or a statement in your life?  Just about every woman I know has either considered it or actually enrolled.  Some of my friends participate in degree programs and others participate in “continuing education” classes and seminars at our local community colleges and universities.

In Janene White’s paper, Adult Women in Community Colleges, she writes about the increase of adult women enrollment in community colleges.  In it she cites many of the reasons women return to college is based on a “life changing event” such as; divorce, death of a spouse, children leaving home or personal career limitations.  She goes on to discuss that many women return to school on a part-time basis for a variety of reasons but the most obvious are work and family obligations. 

What I wanted to stress today is that if you are thinking about return to college, make sure that you talk to the school’s financial aid department before you apply.  You may be pleasantly surprised to find that there are numerous grant and scholarships available for adult women embarking upon or returning to college.  Grants and scholarships usually require a minimum grade point average and are generally used to offset tuition costs.  Some scholarships and grants may also allow for the payment of books, fees, room & board and even childcare!  Please keep in mind that NOT ALL SCHOLARSHIPS AND GRANTS REQUIRE YOU TO CLAIM FINANCIAL NEED. 

Too many adult women overlook institutional, state and federal grants and scholarships because they feel they may not apply to them.  Please do not make that mistake if you are considering returning to college.  There are many companies and individuals who are eager to see their scholarships and grants support your college education.

After visiting the website or financial aid offices of your local college or university, I would also suggest that you visit one or more of free scholarship search website found below.  These sites will help you navigate through and find potential scholarships and grants that fit your demographic.

Some free scholarship search sites are:

          CollegeBoard

          Scholarship Resource Network

          The Scholarship Workshop

          SallieMae

It may seem like a paperwork hassle, but you might be pleasantly surprised by all of the individuals. companies and agencies out there willing to give you money to support your educational goals.  Grants and scholarships…not just for college freshman anymore!

Until next time, be well!

Erin
www.ExpectingExecutive.com

It doesn’t take a village to raise a child, it takes a village to support a parent(s) raising a child!

BlogRush – The newest, coolest Blog Syndication Network?

It is on very, very limited occasion that I step into the conversation of blogs and codes and blog technology.  Quite frankly, I find most of it overwhelming, confusing and over-hyped by people that are able to manipulate sites like Delicious, Technorati, Digg, etc. to their advantage and I am left with no advantage at all not to mention another username and password to remember.

However, I have mentioned that I love EASY TO USE technology in my recent review of the super easy Flip Video and the Jitterbug phone for seniors Flip N’ Jitterbug – Amazing Product Reviews!!! 

A while ago I added this internet guru guy, Andy Beard to my Goggle Reader.  (and, I only read his stuff on my Goggle Reader because his site takes FOREVER to load as I am sure it is filled with all kinds of secret internet coded whatever stuff).  Well, this morning Andy Beard is endorsing a new blog syndication network called BlogRush.  Andy said that another internet guru guy, John Reese (had something to do with Digg popularity, I think) likes it too.  

Because I enrolled my Expecting Executive Blog under the Parenting & Family category, every time someone opens one of my blog entries, they will see 5 other blog posts relating to Parenting & Family.  I have already noticed that several of the blog entries shown are written by many of my favorite mommy bloggers! 

I watched the video they offered…it was easy to understand and helpful!  It really only took me 5 minutes to sign up and install the widget.  They are still in their beta phase so some of the links on their website are under development.

The big catch here is to be in the “first or second wave” of signing up and promoting this product to see a truly significant impact to your readership.  So, hop on board and see if blog guru, Andy Beard is right?!?!  From what I understand, he usually is.

I love simple technology and I just might love BlogRush.  See you there!

Be well!

Erin
www.ExpectingExecutive.com
Helping You Manage Life’s Details

They had me at $25 Co-Pay, Please – Why I Love Urgent Care Facilities!

If you are a caregiver (caring for a child, elder adult or accident prone spouse), you should know where the closest Urgent Care Facility is located.  Urgent Care Facilities are FANTASTIC and have become more and more popular in both urban and suburban areas.  Wikipedia defines URGENT CARE as “the delivery of ambulatory care in a facility dedicated to the delivery of unscheduled, walk-in care outside of a hospital emergency department.”

There is an Urgent Care located 6.32 miles (according to Map Quest) from our home.  It opened a little more than a year ago and we have used it on three separate occasions.  Once for me and twice for our 2 1/2 year old son.  I am starting to wonder if they will be instituting some sort of a frequent customer program?!?!

Back in the Spring, we were having a community beautification day on a lovely Saturday.  Being an involved community citizen, I volunteered to help and was assigned weeding and mulching.  I believe I was assigned that task because we own a pickup truck and I would be able to tote around the mulch.  Anyway, we live in the Gulf Coast area of Houston and we have some fairly unusual (to this Northeastern girl) plants around here.  During the mulching and weeding, I managed to prick myself with a 4 inch thorn that was protruding from one of the tropical plants.  (I would include a picture but I still don’t know what it is called and I am simply too lazy to get in the car and photograph the offending plant.)  So, this thorn pokes me in the hand and pierces my skin and lands smack dab into one of the veins on my hand.  It was pretty wild because it immediately spurted blood, became swollen and started to ache.  No good deed goes unpunished eh?  I talked to our local volunteer fire department/emergency responders (who are fabulous) and they suggested that I have a doctor take a look and give me a tetanus shot.  EEEKK!

Well, I was certainly not going to try and go to our local hospital’s emergency room for a tetanus shot!   I felt that my injury did not warrant the wait, the hassle or the $250 emergency room co-pay.  I thought about waiting until Monday until I remembered the new Urgent Care facility that had recently opened in our community.  I decided I would give them a try and what a treat that turned out to be!

This Urgent Care is open 7 days per week, 9am – 7pm.  I got there at about 4:45pm on a Saturday.  There were two other people there waiting in the delightful waiting room that had Discovery Channel playing on both of the flat screen TVs hanging on the walls.  I handed them my insurance card, filled out ONE form (two sides) and paid my $25 co-pay.  Within 10 minutes, I was seeing a Board Certified physician.  The Doctor took a look at my hand and ordered the predicted tetanus shot.  A nurse immediately appeared and preceded to provide me with the dreaded medicine.  The Doctor returned and told me they would like me to take an antibiotic for a couple of days to prevent infection and then wanted to know to which local pharmacy should the call in the prescription!!!  Oh my goodness…I wanted to hug him.  Call in a prescription and save me some time?!?!  Who does that any more?  Well, instead of a hug, I asked him to look at my knee that had been bothering me.  He told me I was probably doing a couple of my yoga moves with too much enthusiasm and wrapped it in an ace bandage and told me to take it easy.

I LOVE this facility.  And, they had me at $25 co-pay please! 

I returned home with business cards and Urgent Care pamphlets to hand out to my neighbors and friends who have children, grandchildren and husbands who use power tools.  I was so impressed I even wrote an article about them in our local community newspaper.

Then, on Friday, September 13th we faced a truly scary medical emergency when our son fell and his hit forehead on some concrete.  There was blood and screaming.  I called 911 and once again our amazing Volunteer Fire Department and Emergency Responders came to our aid.  After some cleaning up and soothing, our son seemed okay (he had one heck of a bump on his head) but they thought it was best to have him checked out at the Emergency Room.  Instead, I called the Urgent Care (which was 10 miles closer) and told them we were on our way.  We got there and after the Doctor checked him out, it was his suggestion that we head to the Emergency Room.  The Urgent Care facility called the Emergency Room to let them know we were coming and provide them with all of our information to pre-register us.  What angels!  You can read the rest of the story at What I learned in the Emergency Room, Pediatric ICU and the hospital this weekend – and the benefit of daycare/childcare!

Out third trip to the Urgent Care facility was last Thursday.  It was about an hour before my son and I were heading out of the house to catch a plane to visit the spoil patrol grandparents, my husband screamed for me with that shrilled, terrorizing voice that I immediately recognized was going to provide me with some very serious information. 

It turns out that my husband (who was supposed to be watching my son while I packed) missed it when our son somehow located a small bottle of Advil.  And, he also missed it when our son managed to open it and eat a few of them.  My husband did become aware when our son immediately began to vomit (you would too if you chewed Advil) which alarmed my husband and followed it up with the blood curdling scream for help.  So, off to the Urgent Center I sent them.  I didn’t accompany on this trip because I knew my son was going to be okay and it was a good exercise for my husband to handle this situation on his own.  Share and share alike, I say.

Again, the Urgent Care was great!  The Doctor saw my son immediately.  Upon review, it seems that none of the Advil stayed in his stomach and provided some comfort to my nervous wreck of a husband.  As a point of interest, ibuprofen was not quite the concern as Tylenol would have been.  It seems that if my son had ingested some of the Advil, they would have given him a liquid charcoal mixture to drink to coat and protect his stomach and intestines and let it pass.  However, they would have pumped his stomach if he had swallowed Tylenol.  Good information for parents to know.  Additionally, all parents should have ready access to the Poison Control Center 1-800-222-1222.  In Canada, the telephone numbers change with each Province – click on the Children’s Safety Association of Canada for your Province’s emergency telephone number

There are two Urgent Care facilities within 10 miles of me.  I have both of them programmed in my cell phone.  I have given permission for the daycare, where my son goes to Mother’s Day Out, to have the Urgent Care facility treat him for non life-threatening medical conditions or injuries.

Reasons to use a Urgent Care facility:
   You have an urgent non life-threatening medical condition or injury
   Your primary care doctor’s office is closed
   You are not able to schedule a convenient appointment with your primary care doctor
   You are away from home

Most Urgent Care facilities offer:
   Board Certified physicians
   Urgent trauma equipment including cardiac monitors
   X-Ray equipment
   Minor procedure room (sterile/clean rooms)

Many Urgent Care facilities offer:
   CT Scans
   Ultrasounds

Other Benefits of Urgent Care facilities:
   Shorter wait times to see a doctor
   Doctor visit co-pay and not emergency room co-pay (that saved us $225 per visit)
   Weekend and after hours availability
   
So, take some time in the near future to check out your local Urgent Care facilities.  Stop in.  Take a tour.  Have them check to make sure they take your insurance.  You may even decide to pre-register with them to save yourself some time if you see a possible visits in your future.

For more information on Urgent Care facilities you can visit the Urgent Care Association of America.

Please feel free to share comments or experiences you may have had with an Urgent Care center.

Be well,

Erin
www.ExpectingExecutive.com
Helping You Manage Life’s Details

Flip N’ Jitterbug – Two Easy Tech Tools We Love!

On more than one occasion, I have been accused of being a gadget junkie.  I admit it.  I do like easy to buy and use gadgets that innovative people invent to make my life just a little bit easier or more enjoyable.  I especially like technology that is inexpensive, easy to use and helpful.  I have recently gone a little gadget happy with two new products on the market and I am happy to give them my very enthusiastic (and completely unpaid) endorsement!

PRODUCT ONE – 60 MINUTE FLIP VIDEO

I went a little crazy when my son was born and bought a super amazing and complicated mini digital video camera.  It came with EVERYTHING!!!! Literally.  Besides the camera it came with all of these wires and a special rechargeable battery that I have twice replaced.  My fancy camera was accompanied with TWO instruction manuals that were more than fifty pages long not to mention three DVDs to help make pictures and movies work, I think.  It   But, truth be told, I hate this camera.  It has always been such a hassle to use.  It is hard to focus for easy and quick picture taking.  It is too big.  It took me forever to figure out the gosh darn camera buttons.  Sigh.  I know this camera can do amazing things.  I know because I read all about them when I bought the stupid thing camera.  But, for the life of me, I have never been able to figure them out how to use this amazing camera.  So, after all of these years, I still take only okay pictures that have a tendency to be slightly out of focus and I have used the digital video feature with some success but only after buying more of those expensive memory cards that I am forever losing.  After that rant, now begins the endorsement.

I received a gift in the mail about a month ago.  My father, who was tired of hearing me complain about my camera, sent me a 60 minute Flip Video that cost $120.00.  I assumed it would not be impressive at all because it was what I might consider “cheap” for a high quality technology gadget.  But, I was wrong, wrong, wrong.  After using my Flip Video almost non-stop for the past month, I have to tell you, the little Flip Video is amazing!  This little video camera with only five single function buttons is about as big as a pack of cards.  It comes in white and you can order it in white with black trim.  I opened the packaging and was sure that UPS was going to soon deliver the second box with the required accoutrements.  But NO, the shipment was complete.  I looked frantically but there was no CD, no AC adapters and NO MANUAL.  Instead I found a neatly folded 2″ six panel brochure.  That was it!  It had a picture of my new Flip video and instructed me to install the two double AA batteries included and start taking some videos.  And I’ll be darned, but, it was that easy!!!  Yippee!  This little Flip Video is the coolest and easiest to use gadget I have every owned.  It takes videos of my precious 2 1/2 year old tornado that are just fine and properly accomplish my main objectives; 1) document my cute kid so that I can remember how cute he was when I am trying to remember his cuteness when he is 17 and 2) entertain friends and family spread across the country via the internet. 

Because I am complete sucker for efficient creativity in action, I love the USB connector arm that just ”pops” out of the camera when it is time to hook it up to my computer.  Once I plug the Flip Video into the USB port, all of the required software is already inside of the camera!!!  That’s right, I just plug my little camera into my laptop and I download (upload?) video to my YouTube account and now I have proof that grandma’s “little angel” can scream like a banshee when I tell him he can’t hit the pug with a pool cue.  Or, I can email Grandma a custom video and spare the general population from toddler wrath.  My favorite part of Flip Video is the fact there is nothing to lose or store. No power supplies to identify and lug around.  No expensive batteries that need recharging the moment I want to use my camera.  No lost or left behind battery chargers! I love it, I love it, I love it!  Click here or on the Flip Video picture for more specs and information.  (P. S. You may want to consider the $70 thirty minute Flip Video as potential great Christmas gift!)

PRODUCT TWO – JITTERBUG CELL PHONE

Another fantastic and timely product is the Jitterbug Cell Phone marketed to ”simply” keep baby boomers in touch with the aging parents.  Arlene Harris, founder of Great Call, Inc., and this really cool company offer two different phones and extraordinary operator assisted call services to support those who may need a little (or a lot) of extra assistance making a telephone call.  Samsung manufactures the two custom developed phone that only differ with the available keypad configuration.  Jitterbug Dial looks like a traditional telephone with 0-9 number buttons a user would depress to enter and call a telephone numbers not already programmed in the telephone’s directory.  Jitterbug One Touch has only three large oval buttons (instead of the 0-9 buttons) on the keypad.  The first oval green button is identified in large letters as OPERATOR and connects the user with the Jitterbug operator for call assistance.  The second oval yellow button is custom programmed and labeled (prior to delivery) to provide the user direct dial calling to the contact of their choosing.  The third oval button is red and it labeled 911.  Both phones have these great oversized, padded earpieces with a “powerful” speakers.  The buttons are brightly backlit, oversized and easy to read.  They are hearing aid compatible and use the familiar concept of a dial tone (which I personally love)!  The text on the oversized screen is large and easy to read.  There are only four “command buttons” that indicate up, down, yes and no and power.  Both phones are the same price, $147 and the accessories are reasonably priced. 

The Jitterbug Calling Plans are varied and there appears to be a plan to suit most caller’s requirements.  While I do not believe this is probably the cheapest way to make a cell phone call, it is competitive with major cell phone providers as a limited to moderate use cellular phone.  The Jitterbug calling plans are pre-paid type plans.  Each operator assisted call is paid for with a five minute deduction from the available airtime minutes (except the SIMPLE Plus plan).  There are annual and monthly payment plans that may be customized to include voicemail, voice activated dialing and you can change plan options for free.  Plans may be canceled without penalty!  Love it! 

So, the phones are great and the calling plans are flexible and pretty affordable but it is the Jitterbug Operator Service that takes this product from good to GREAT!  Day or night, when pressing the 0 (zero) or pressing the OPERATOR button, a kind and helpful human being greets the caller by name and asks how they may be of assistance.  That’s right, a telephone company with an operator truly waiting and glad to be of assistance.  Jitterbug operators will connect a call, provide directory assistance and help add and delete the Jitterbug telephone numbers stored in the phone.  Every user has a secure personal telephone directory with up to five contacts identified as emergency contacts.  The directory can be updated by calling the operator, sending Jitterbug a fax or make changes online. I just love it!  Click here or click on the photos for get more information.

One more note:  I believe these products may benefit and serve many consumers with disabilities. As baby boomers (and their parents) age, companies are now racing to create products and services for those who may face “age related impairments”.  As a result, many under served “niche” markets will certainly benefit in tandem but none more than the currently under served and under appreciated consumer with disabilities market for three reasons; 1) products will be less expensive because the cost burdens of new product R&D, manufacture and marketing will be shared and supported across a broader consumer base by companies with greater access to required capital resources  2) due to demand, consumers with disabilities will find more “disabled friendly” products with better options in greater quantities and 3) product support and customer service will continue to improve and become more “disabled conscientious” as a larger percentage of our population faces mobility, communication, visual and health challenges.  Not an ideal way to see improvement happen but improvement nonetheless.

So, there you have it – two great, easy-to-use and affordable products that have the magic quality of mixing technology with simplicity.  These two companies have placed their bets and their R&D dollars on the middle to elder age customer market.  They are courting this sometimes finicky consumer group who wants to use today’s amazing technology without being overwhelmed, intimidated or alienated by the complexity of even making a product work.  Well, good for Flip Video and Jitterbug.  Good for them!  I think they are on the right track and they have both won the bet in our household.  We love to Flip and Jitterbug and we think you just may too!

Do you have any experience with these or other easy-to-use technology gadgets that you have used and would recommend as well?

Be well!

Erin

www.ExpectingExecutive.com

Helping Mothers Manage Life’s Details

Secrets and Hints for Air Travel with Young Children

Air travel with kids.  Yikes!  Sometimes you want to.  Sometimes you need to.  Sometimes you have to. 

Some children are born ready to travel.  They are quiet, agreeable, cute and did I mention quiet?  And then, there are some children who whose behavior on an airplane may result in their parent’s nervous breakdown and fellow adult passengers deciding to maintain a child-free existence. 

Fair or not.  Right or wrong.  Kids fly on planes.  Usually with one or both parents.  Without knowing your kids, I can’t predict how well they will travel on an airplane.  However, if your kid kicks and screams and tries to bite you while you are properly buckling them into the car seat and then throws everything within reach at you while wailing at the top of their lungs on the routine five minute drive to the grocery store…you may want to consider a chartered flight to your destination. 

For others, I have some suggestions that may or may not be obvious and can make life just a little bit easier for yourself, and fellow passengers, when flying with children.

1 – I know this is old hat and overstated but…travel during ”off peak” times and dates.  Trying to travel on a Monday morning with your three precious children with thousands of business travelers is always a bad idea.  Try Tuesday afternoons, Wednesdays, Thursday mornings, Saturdays and even on a holiday day…not the day before or after…but on Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s Day.  Stay away from 7-9am flights and 3-6pm flights…that is when the majority of business travelers are trying to fly around the country for business purposes.

2 – Get everywhere early.  Get to the airport early.  Get to the gate early.  Until your youngest is three or so…take advantage of the coveted perk of pre-boarding!  Being early will give you more options should things go wrong and can reduce trip stress caused by long lines at ticketing and security. 

3 – Use the secret power of GATE PASSES!  While your husband, family or friend who is driving you to the airport is not ticketed for flight, they can still accompany you to the gate!!!  IT IS A HUGE HELP through security.  It is also a life saver when you have a delayed flight and you can use the extra set of adult hands to help with potty breaks, food runs and just a bit of company.  As long as your travel Sherpa has proper identification, you should be able to ask for and obtain a gate pass from a ticketing agent for your non-flying children helper (husband, friend or grandparent).  Airlines usually limit the number of gate passes they will issue to one adult per child traveling.  So, the grandparents may need to play a game of rock-paper-scissors to see who gets to walk you to the gate.  Additionally, gate passes are also available on the landing end of flights.  Your family or friends waiting for your arrival can ask agents at the ticketing desk for a gate passes to meet you at the arrival gate and help you get from the gate to baggage claim.  The ticketing agent will require proper identification, the passenger’s name and flight information.  A gate pass holder will be required to show proper identification and their gate pass to enter and go through the security line.  Gate passes have been a life saver for me and probably the best kept airline secret since 9/11!!!  Use this feature…it is free and available to most commercial passengers.

4 – Call the airline after you book your e-tickets and make sure that you have firm seat assignments.  Check and make sure the seats that you have been assigned make sense for you and your brood.  Seats together towards the front of the plane are always a better. bet  During this telephone call, you can check to see about your flight’s plane amenities.  Are there power ports available for DVD players or will you need to bring extra batteries?  Will there be movies?  Will they serve food or snacks?  Keep in mind…Southwest does not provide seat assignments.  So, see number 2 and get there early.  And, make sure your print your boarding pass before getting to the airport…it speeds everything up!

5 -  You can find just about everything an adult might need in the airport or on the plane but some child items are harder to come by if you don’t bring them yourself.  Bring extra sippy cups, diapers, formula and any special infant/child medicine in your diaper bag backpack (replace your traditional diaper bag with a easier to carry backpack when traveling).  With delayed flights, bad weather or just plain bad luck, it is better to have more of the essentials when you are stuck for hours on end.  You may also want to bring extra batteries because they are so darn expensive at the airport!  Speaking of batteries, don’t forget to pack your cell phone charger in your diaper bag backpack!!!  When was the last time you tried to find and use a pay phone at an airport?

6 – Always have a couple (if not a whole box) of extra plastic lunch bags (quart or even gallon sized).  These are valuable for a couple of reasons.  Poopy diapers on planes seem to be an inevitable occurrence for mothers.  So, make friends and fewer enemies when you provide odor control by sealing soiled diapers in a plastic bag before disposal.  Also, plastic bags come in handy when you go through security.  Just pop one out when you have forgotten to take the infant Tylenol and sample sized baby lotion out of your diaper bag backpack and you are facing an upset TSA agent.  Don’t throw them out, bag em!

7 – Take drink tickets with you on the plane!!!  Buy drink tickets in advance, either through the website or at the ticketing desk.  This rule is especially important on the bus in the sky I call Southwest.  If your kids are going to be potentially horrible…passing out drink tickets to irritated seat mates always goes a long way!  And, if nobody takes you up on your offer or everyone around you thinks that 8am on a Wednesday is too early to start drinking…first, check with yourself to make sure that you have someone meeting you when the plane lands…and I give you permission to enjoy having one drink per accompanying child prior to noon!  Also, drink tickets are much easier to find and give to the flight attendant instead of rooting around your 22″ carry-on purse for $3 to pay for a plastic cup of screw off top wine.  Cheers!

8 – Take your child’s birth certificate.  Many airlines are now requiring birth certificates for babies and children when checking in for your flight.  When traveling, I have found the request to see my son’s birth certificate inconsistent but when they have wanted his birth certificate produced, they seemed very adamant about it.  ALL CHILDREN NOW REQUIRE PASSPORTS for most international travel.  The paperwork is pretty much the same and the application fees a bit  less expensive for children but the picture taking is quite a bit more complicated.  Most passport picture taking places will not take pictures of children under two.  Dave yourself some time and call ahead to find a place who will take your child’s passport photo.  We drove all over town before we were finally referred to a local photographer take our son’s picture for his passport.  Also, if you are planning to travel to Mexico, Canada or the Caribbean over the holidays and you don’t have a passport yet…get to it today!  The current processing wait is long for passport

9 – Oh yeah, bring stuff your child will enjoy playing with in a very confined area.  Crayons are iffy because you don’t want to clean up crayon wall art on the plane.  It is also a HUGE hassle to try to pick stuff up off of the floor while seated on a plane…so, small things that your child may throw is always suspect in my book.  I am a big fan of cheap, portable DVD players playing the now controversial Baby Einstein videos.  Believe it or not, plane noise is so loud that you generally do not have to try to get your 14 month old to wear earphones (ha!ha!) and the built in speaker will allow your child to hear without the whole plane enjoying Nickelodeon’s version of The People on the Bus.  However, hands down, fellow passengers would rather listen to your DVD than crying kids…even if it is old Barney CDs!

10 – It usually takes a lot of patience to travel with kids.  So, get a little bit of rest before your big travel day and don’t forget to ask for help when you need it.  Most fellow passengers and flight attendants will be more than happy to assist you with bulky luggage, too much stuff to carry and even watching one of the kids while you change the other in the bathroom.  However, most people are not mind readers and will not usually offer assistance unless you ask for it.  Just don’t forget to say please and thank you!  And, oh yeah, hand them a drink ticket!

Happy Travels!  For more tips and hints, double click you way to the www.TravelwithKids.com website.  MomSquack (one of my daily favorites) wrote a great article for breast feeding mothers called Flying with pumped breast milk: New guidelines.   

Have another travel tip?  Please leave a comment and let others in your proven travel secrets!

Be well and enjoy your Labor Day Weekend!

Erin
www.ExpectingExecutive.com

Helping Busy Mothers Manage Life’s Details

Daycare is NOT a Dirty Word!

I love daycare!  Okay, childcare for those of you who feel opposed to the word daycare.  I love childcare!!!

I support childcare.  I encourage childcare.  I am proud of each and every parent that has taken the time to carefully review, select and enroll you children in childcare.  And, that includes those of you who have talked one of your relatives into beginning a personal childcare service enrolling only your child “for the short term”. 

I love and appreciate the time, patience, talents and dedication of childcare employees and childcare business owners.  If you haven’t thanked your childcare  provider lately, it might be nice to remind them you really appreciate them today.

If you are a parent who is feeling guilty about having your child in daycare while you are working, I would suggest spending a few minutes on your lunch break peeking in on them while they are hanging out with their fellow childcare buddies.  Chances are pretty good that your kid is having a blast! 

When you these little kids all together in rooms with furniture just their size, playing with more toys than you would ever want in your home at one time, it is something funny to see.  While you are at work feeling guilty, you child is dancing and reading and destroying other people’s books!  Together they learn to share, walk in a line and sit in a circle and play duck-duck-goose.  In daycare, kids learn manners like ”no hitting”, “no biting” and taking turns.  Daycare also teaches kids trust, respect and mind other adult authority.  

You also get to enjoy the cute arts and crafts that your child brings home from “school” without the mess.  Honestly, would you really make those cute little crafts at home?  Would you really allow the use of tempra paint in your house?  Do you even know where you would buy it in the first place?  How about laminated place mats?  Do you really see yourself making laminated construction paper place mats?  But, that art sure looks cute in your cubicle!

Believe me, daycare is NOT hell on earth for children.  It is actually really fun!  And, kids learn some really valuable skills that may benefit you in ways you may never think of!  Take for instance, learning to take a nap on the floor in semi-loud and semi-bright conditions.  That ALWAYS helps when you get stuck in an airport or when you are at a wedding reception that will never end and your tipsy husband refuses to leave because you lost at rock/scissors/paper and got to be the designated driver for the evening!  Who knew?!?!?!

Our country’s employers, parents, grandparents and children need and want quality, safe, reliable and affordable childcare.  And, not only is okay…it is GREAT!  Quality childcare is in high demand and there are amazing people and wonderful companies that are meeting that demand with flying colors.  In addition, there are a good many people working in Washington, DC in an effort to improve the access and availability of affordable, quality childcare nationwide.  I hope that childcare becomes an election issue in this long and already tedious presidential election campaign.

For the record, I would like to take a moment and apologize to loving childcare providers everywhere who have been offended when weeping and defensive mothers refer to you as the stranger when they cry “I don’t want some stranger raising my baby”.  Those words must sting.  It is mean spirited to unkindly demean an unknown childcare professional in an effort to justify not utilizing childcare. 

It has been my experience that these harsh words are uttered when SOMEONE (cough) would prefer to be a stay-at-home mom instead of returning to work.  It is NOT your fault…it was the hormones talking!  I am not proud of what I said when my son was just seven weeks old!  I am sorry I uttered those words and I am really sorry that I quit my job in those moments of hormonal self-torture.  What a bone head move on my part.  But, I also chopped my hair off into what I was sure was going to be an “easy to style” haircut!  Well, we will leave that story for another day. 

Anyway, just so you know, I appreciate and admire the average 32 hours per week that you, trusted childcare provider, will spend watching the babies of new mothers returning to work.  So, if I am doing my math correctly and there are 168 hours in a week and 32 hours per week spent with a childcare provider…that comes out to less than 20% of a seven day week!  Well, I would hardly call that ”raising” a child.  Geesh!  It is what I would call childcare!

For those of you who are already getting upset and defensive because you personally WOULD NEVER use daycare or childcare, be forewarned, you are NOT my intended audience.  If you are happy and content with your choice to not utilize a daycare or childcare provider, that is great.  I respect and applaud your convictions and recognize the sacrifices that you are making to care for your children as you see fit.  However , I must warn you that regardless of your reasoning for being a stay-at-home mom, you become one of the statistics for childcare studies anyway.  Stay-at-home-moms fall under the “unpaid relatives” or “non-working mother” static in national childcare surveys and reports.

Childcare statistics are fascinating in good and bad ways.  According to the National Association of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies (see fact sheet), there are well over two million people out there earning money taking care of our nation’s children under the age of five.  More than half work in “formal” child care settings, like commercial and home-based daycare facilities, and everyone else would be categorized as a nanny, babysitter or paid relative (not a parent).  Not surprisingly, about 95% of childcare providers are women.  That’s a whole lot of women in our country earning money taking care of other people’s children.  Unfortunately, the average wage for these women falls just under $9.00 per hour.  Yikes!

According the Nation’s Network of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies organization, there are 12 million kids out there under five that are being cared for by someone other than their mom or dad.  And, more than 50% of those kids have mothers who work!  Gasp!  The US Census Bureau published the Who’s Minding the Kids: Child Care Arrangements, an interesting and comprehensive report regarding childcare.  Shhh, don’t tell, but there are some surprising statistics regarding the ”unpaid” or “non-working” parent group and their use of paid child care. 

Let’s face it ladies, there are more mothers who are working and using childcare than full-time stay at home mothers who are not.   And, it really doesn’t matter if you personally feel that childcare or mothers who work is “bad” or “good”.  More mothers work.  It’s a fact.

So, then, if you are thinking about childcare, need childcare, or want to reevaluate your current childcare, here are some places on the good old world wide web that I found to be interesting, helpful or a little bit of both.

I like the Healthy Kids, Healthy Care website.  This website covers just about everything a parent (and childcare provider) would want to know about the health and safety of children as it relates to childcare givers.  It provides parents a well written and easy to use Parent’s Guide to Choosing Safe and Healthy Childcare that I thought would be really helpful to review and use as you are evaluating local childcare providers.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the www.ChildCareAware.org website!  This website is a good one to bookmark if there is a child in your life.  They have some very resourceful tools like a child care budget and a FANTASTIC on-line tool that walks parents step-by-step through the “return to work or stay-at-home” decision.  They thoughtfully refer to it as a  Family Decision Making Tool.  This site also has links to other quality tools such as how to choose and evaluate child care providers, helping with summer childcare, and general parenting information.  I love their choices of publications, available in English and Spanish.  I am AMAZED that will also mail a single report or publication directly to your home (or even a bulk order to your childcare facility) at no charge!!!

The Nation’s Network of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies organization works with more than 800 state and local childcare referral organizations nationwide and this website is a phenomenal resource for rural families, military families and disadvantaged households.  I also like the fantastic list of games, activities, music and more for your children by age.  This organization does a lot with public policy and working toward promoting the implementation of national standards and federal funding for child care.  Right now, individual states determine and control childcare licensing requirements, laws and most of the available governmental funding for childcare programs.  They can point you in the right direction if you wanted to get involved in helping them with federal policy and childcare issues.

The National Child Care Association also has a Child Care Provider Database as well as a great Resources/Links page.  This website is well worth a look but did not have a lot for parents as other web resources.

Each of the above listed websites have links that can provide your state’s childcare licensing requirements.  I also found most of these websites to have many valuable childcare and child related parenting tools and resources.  There were some cool articles on infant brain and learning development, strategies for working through different infant/toddler behaviors as well as suggestions and guidance on nutrition, education and age appropriate activities.  There are really helpful reading, teaching and learning resources available for home based mothers, babysitters and childcare providers.

Still looking for childcare?  I found some websites out there that are getting pretty good on-line reviews.  I can’t personally vouch for any of them but they may be worth looking into.  If you are aware of them or use them, I would love your feedback!   www.SitterCity.com -  www.Nanny.org - www.FindCareNow.com -  www.Nannies4Hire.com - www.childcare-directory.com - www.get-a-sitter.com  –  www.daycarematch.com

I wanted to make you aware of a childcare assistance program for our amazing and brave men and women in uniform!  Operation Military Child Care will help locate and subsidize fees to provide childcare for those caring for children who have a parent(s) in the military who have been activated and deployed.  Operation Military Child includes parents in the National Guard, Reserve, Army, Marine Corps, Navy, and Air Force.  Additionally, the NACCCRA and the Department of Defense have partnered to provide families of severely injured military members with assistance to find and pay for safe, licensed child care services for a period of six months during their period of recuperation.  Check NACCCRA Military Programs for the on-line application.  I would like to thank each and every member of the uniformed services for your service!  I sleep better tonight knowing that you are protecting our country and my family. 

What about childcare for children with disabilities?  There are some great resources and support for kids with mental or physical challenges…not to mention some really important civil rights.  The Department of Justice has a great site for parents and providers called FAQ About Child Care Centers and the Americans with Disabilities Act.   There is also fantastic booklet for both parents and childcare providers called Child Care and the Americans with Disabilities Act: Opportunities and Resources offered through The Center for Children with Special Needs website.  While this site is supported by the state of Washington, there are some terrific resources and planning materials for parents and caregivers working with children with special needs.  

 The Council for Exceptional Children is a great place to stay up to date on what is going on in Washington, DC.  They help you stay informed about laws and public policy as it relates to your children!  They also have some helpful learning and teacher resources for early childhood and disabilities.  There is even a have a classified section where you can list an ad for a certified teacher in your area to care for your infant or toddler! 

 The Division for Early Childhood is another website with helpful information.  They publish Young Exceptional Children quarterly and have a great resources/weblink page.  One of the links is to The Technical Assistance Center which offers a contact office in every state to help parents find educational and care support for children with disabilities.  I also found this great universal resources and nationwide links on California’s Map to Inclusive Child Care.  A must visit, if you have not been there already!

 I also liked the website, Parents Helping Parents.  This site is an information gathering and sharing e-community for parents of children with disabilities.  Somewhere among the on-line disability specific support forums, events, classes, equipment swaps, financial assistance and government updates…the online resource page has a list of child care providers for children with disabilities.  However, most of them are found in California.  This is a great website that is sure to help parents, siblings and child care providers alike.

There are two websites that I have to highly recommend everyone appreciate and support:

Best Buddies is a nonprofit organization dedicated to enhancing the lives of people with intellectual disabilities by providing opportunities for one-to-one friendships and integrated employment.

Bandaids and Blackboards – The intent of the website is to sensitize people to what it’s like to grow up with a medical problem. Too often, youngsters so affected must cope with stigma as well as with their medical conditions. Teasing often accompanies this stigma, and adds a layer of pain to their experience of childhood. 

While am certainly not finished with the childcare issue at Expecting Executive Blog, I am almost finished with this post.  I admit I might have seemed a touch snarky at the beginning of this post but I am truly disheartened and quite frankly fed up with the way that some women are speaking to each other regarding motherhood.  I am finding this media induced confrontation between stay-at-home and working mothers mean, unhelpful and quite frankly rude!   I would like challenge every mother who feels somehow “offended” or “impassioned” by the viewpoints of another mother to take a moment and really observe why you are reacting so strongly. 

Motherhood is complicated. 

Every single mother and child’s life has so many variables that it is absolutely impossible to be “right” about everything all of the time.  Every mother has a responsibility to herself and her children to do the best that she is able with the resources that are available.  Whatever your own situation may be, motherhood will be complicated. 

You have my non-judgmental support, encouragement, enthusiasm, empathy and compassion.  And, at www.ExpectingExecutive.com, we will do what we are able to provide you with support and resources to assist you as you manage the details. 

So, hug your kids and take them to the library!  Forgive yourself, be nice to one another and come back next Monday for another post from the Expecting Executive Blog! 

Be well,

Erin

Anne M. Plant: Poolside Observations

The 5th installment of the Anne. M. Plant blog on Huffington Post. Mrs. Plant is a recent widow who has moved, with her two daughters, from L.A. to a small town in Virginia. Mrs. Plant has some observations on Virginia politics. Enjoy! Erin @ expectingexecutive.com

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