Daycare is NOT a Dirty Word!

I love daycare!  Okay, childcare for those of you who feel opposed to the word daycare.  I love childcare!!!

I support childcare.  I encourage childcare.  I am proud of each and every parent that has taken the time to carefully review, select and enroll you children in childcare.  And, that includes those of you who have talked one of your relatives into beginning a personal childcare service enrolling only your child “for the short term”. 

I love and appreciate the time, patience, talents and dedication of childcare employees and childcare business owners.  If you haven’t thanked your childcare  provider lately, it might be nice to remind them you really appreciate them today.

If you are a parent who is feeling guilty about having your child in daycare while you are working, I would suggest spending a few minutes on your lunch break peeking in on them while they are hanging out with their fellow childcare buddies.  Chances are pretty good that your kid is having a blast! 

When you these little kids all together in rooms with furniture just their size, playing with more toys than you would ever want in your home at one time, it is something funny to see.  While you are at work feeling guilty, you child is dancing and reading and destroying other people’s books!  Together they learn to share, walk in a line and sit in a circle and play duck-duck-goose.  In daycare, kids learn manners like “no hitting”, “no biting” and taking turns.  Daycare also teaches kids trust, respect and mind other adult authority.  

You also get to enjoy the cute arts and crafts that your child brings home from “school” without the mess.  Honestly, would you really make those cute little crafts at home?  Would you really allow the use of tempra paint in your house?  Do you even know where you would buy it in the first place?  How about laminated place mats?  Do you really see yourself making laminated construction paper place mats?  But, that art sure looks cute in your cubicle!

Believe me, daycare is NOT hell on earth for children.  It is actually really fun!  And, kids learn some really valuable skills that may benefit you in ways you may never think of!  Take for instance, learning to take a nap on the floor in semi-loud and semi-bright conditions.  That ALWAYS helps when you get stuck in an airport or when you are at a wedding reception that will never end and your tipsy husband refuses to leave because you lost at rock/scissors/paper and got to be the designated driver for the evening!  Who knew?!?!?!

Our country’s employers, parents, grandparents and children need and want quality, safe, reliable and affordable childcare.  And, not only is okay…it is GREAT!  Quality childcare is in high demand and there are amazing people and wonderful companies that are meeting that demand with flying colors.  In addition, there are a good many people working in Washington, DC in an effort to improve the access and availability of affordable, quality childcare nationwide.  I hope that childcare becomes an election issue in this long and already tedious presidential election campaign.

For the record, I would like to take a moment and apologize to loving childcare providers everywhere who have been offended when weeping and defensive mothers refer to you as the stranger when they cry “I don’t want some stranger raising my baby”.  Those words must sting.  It is mean spirited to unkindly demean an unknown childcare professional in an effort to justify not utilizing childcare. 

It has been my experience that these harsh words are uttered when SOMEONE (cough) would prefer to be a stay-at-home mom instead of returning to work.  It is NOT your fault…it was the hormones talking!  I am not proud of what I said when my son was just seven weeks old!  I am sorry I uttered those words and I am really sorry that I quit my job in those moments of hormonal self-torture.  What a bone head move on my part.  But, I also chopped my hair off into what I was sure was going to be an “easy to style” haircut!  Well, we will leave that story for another day. 

Anyway, just so you know, I appreciate and admire the average 32 hours per week that you, trusted childcare provider, will spend watching the babies of new mothers returning to work.  So, if I am doing my math correctly and there are 168 hours in a week and 32 hours per week spent with a childcare provider…that comes out to less than 20% of a seven day week!  Well, I would hardly call that “raising” a child.  Geesh!  It is what I would call childcare!

For those of you who are already getting upset and defensive because you personally WOULD NEVER use daycare or childcare, be forewarned, you are NOT my intended audience.  If you are happy and content with your choice to not utilize a daycare or childcare provider, that is great.  I respect and applaud your convictions and recognize the sacrifices that you are making to care for your children as you see fit.  However , I must warn you that regardless of your reasoning for being a stay-at-home mom, you become one of the statistics for childcare studies anyway.  Stay-at-home-moms fall under the “unpaid relatives” or “non-working mother” static in national childcare surveys and reports.

Childcare statistics are fascinating in good and bad ways.  According to the National Association of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies (see fact sheet), there are well over two million people out there earning money taking care of our nation’s children under the age of five.  More than half work in “formal” child care settings, like commercial and home-based daycare facilities, and everyone else would be categorized as a nanny, babysitter or paid relative (not a parent).  Not surprisingly, about 95% of childcare providers are women.  That’s a whole lot of women in our country earning money taking care of other people’s children.  Unfortunately, the average wage for these women falls just under $9.00 per hour.  Yikes!

According the Nation’s Network of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies organization, there are 12 million kids out there under five that are being cared for by someone other than their mom or dad.  And, more than 50% of those kids have mothers who work!  Gasp!  The US Census Bureau published the Who’s Minding the Kids: Child Care Arrangements, an interesting and comprehensive report regarding childcare.  Shhh, don’t tell, but there are some surprising statistics regarding the “unpaid” or “non-working” parent group and their use of paid child care. 

Let’s face it ladies, there are more mothers who are working and using childcare than full-time stay at home mothers who are not.   And, it really doesn’t matter if you personally feel that childcare or mothers who work is “bad” or “good”.  More mothers work.  It’s a fact.

So, then, if you are thinking about childcare, need childcare, or want to reevaluate your current childcare, here are some places on the good old world wide web that I found to be interesting, helpful or a little bit of both.

I like the Healthy Kids, Healthy Care website.  This website covers just about everything a parent (and childcare provider) would want to know about the health and safety of children as it relates to childcare givers.  It provides parents a well written and easy to use Parent’s Guide to Choosing Safe and Healthy Childcare that I thought would be really helpful to review and use as you are evaluating local childcare providers.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the www.ChildCareAware.org website!  This website is a good one to bookmark if there is a child in your life.  They have some very resourceful tools like a child care budget and a FANTASTIC on-line tool that walks parents step-by-step through the “return to work or stay-at-home” decision.  They thoughtfully refer to it as a  Family Decision Making Tool.  This site also has links to other quality tools such as how to choose and evaluate child care providers, helping with summer childcare, and general parenting information.  I love their choices of publications, available in English and Spanish.  I am AMAZED that will also mail a single report or publication directly to your home (or even a bulk order to your childcare facility) at no charge!!!

The Nation’s Network of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies organization works with more than 800 state and local childcare referral organizations nationwide and this website is a phenomenal resource for rural families, military families and disadvantaged households.  I also like the fantastic list of games, activities, music and more for your children by age.  This organization does a lot with public policy and working toward promoting the implementation of national standards and federal funding for child care.  Right now, individual states determine and control childcare licensing requirements, laws and most of the available governmental funding for childcare programs.  They can point you in the right direction if you wanted to get involved in helping them with federal policy and childcare issues.

The National Child Care Association also has a Child Care Provider Database as well as a great Resources/Links page.  This website is well worth a look but did not have a lot for parents as other web resources.

Each of the above listed websites have links that can provide your state’s childcare licensing requirements.  I also found most of these websites to have many valuable childcare and child related parenting tools and resources.  There were some cool articles on infant brain and learning development, strategies for working through different infant/toddler behaviors as well as suggestions and guidance on nutrition, education and age appropriate activities.  There are really helpful reading, teaching and learning resources available for home based mothers, babysitters and childcare providers.

Still looking for childcare?  I found some websites out there that are getting pretty good on-line reviews.  I can’t personally vouch for any of them but they may be worth looking into.  If you are aware of them or use them, I would love your feedback!   www.SitterCity.com –  www.Nanny.org – www.FindCareNow.com –  www.Nannies4Hire.com – www.childcare-directory.com – www.get-a-sitter.com  –  www.daycarematch.com

I wanted to make you aware of a childcare assistance program for our amazing and brave men and women in uniform!  Operation Military Child Care will help locate and subsidize fees to provide childcare for those caring for children who have a parent(s) in the military who have been activated and deployed.  Operation Military Child includes parents in the National Guard, Reserve, Army, Marine Corps, Navy, and Air Force.  Additionally, the NACCCRA and the Department of Defense have partnered to provide families of severely injured military members with assistance to find and pay for safe, licensed child care services for a period of six months during their period of recuperation.  Check NACCCRA Military Programs for the on-line application.  I would like to thank each and every member of the uniformed services for your service!  I sleep better tonight knowing that you are protecting our country and my family. 

What about childcare for children with disabilities?  There are some great resources and support for kids with mental or physical challenges…not to mention some really important civil rights.  The Department of Justice has a great site for parents and providers called FAQ About Child Care Centers and the Americans with Disabilities Act.   There is also fantastic booklet for both parents and childcare providers called Child Care and the Americans with Disabilities Act: Opportunities and Resources offered through The Center for Children with Special Needs website.  While this site is supported by the state of Washington, there are some terrific resources and planning materials for parents and caregivers working with children with special needs.  

 The Council for Exceptional Children is a great place to stay up to date on what is going on in Washington, DC.  They help you stay informed about laws and public policy as it relates to your children!  They also have some helpful learning and teacher resources for early childhood and disabilities.  There is even a have a classified section where you can list an ad for a certified teacher in your area to care for your infant or toddler! 

 The Division for Early Childhood is another website with helpful information.  They publish Young Exceptional Children quarterly and have a great resources/weblink page.  One of the links is to The Technical Assistance Center which offers a contact office in every state to help parents find educational and care support for children with disabilities.  I also found this great universal resources and nationwide links on California’s Map to Inclusive Child Care.  A must visit, if you have not been there already!

 I also liked the website, Parents Helping Parents.  This site is an information gathering and sharing e-community for parents of children with disabilities.  Somewhere among the on-line disability specific support forums, events, classes, equipment swaps, financial assistance and government updates…the online resource page has a list of child care providers for children with disabilities.  However, most of them are found in California.  This is a great website that is sure to help parents, siblings and child care providers alike.

There are two websites that I have to highly recommend everyone appreciate and support:

Best Buddies is a nonprofit organization dedicated to enhancing the lives of people with intellectual disabilities by providing opportunities for one-to-one friendships and integrated employment.

Bandaids and Blackboards – The intent of the website is to sensitize people to what it’s like to grow up with a medical problem. Too often, youngsters so affected must cope with stigma as well as with their medical conditions. Teasing often accompanies this stigma, and adds a layer of pain to their experience of childhood. 

While am certainly not finished with the childcare issue at Expecting Executive Blog, I am almost finished with this post.  I admit I might have seemed a touch snarky at the beginning of this post but I am truly disheartened and quite frankly fed up with the way that some women are speaking to each other regarding motherhood.  I am finding this media induced confrontation between stay-at-home and working mothers mean, unhelpful and quite frankly rude!   I would like challenge every mother who feels somehow “offended” or “impassioned” by the viewpoints of another mother to take a moment and really observe why you are reacting so strongly. 

Motherhood is complicated. 

Every single mother and child’s life has so many variables that it is absolutely impossible to be “right” about everything all of the time.  Every mother has a responsibility to herself and her children to do the best that she is able with the resources that are available.  Whatever your own situation may be, motherhood will be complicated. 

You have my non-judgmental support, encouragement, enthusiasm, empathy and compassion.  And, at www.ExpectingExecutive.com, we will do what we are able to provide you with support and resources to assist you as you manage the details. 

So, hug your kids and take them to the library!  Forgive yourself, be nice to one another and come back next Monday for another post from the Expecting Executive Blog! 

Be well,

Erin

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